Who I wanted to be

Back in my youth I wanted to be a writer.  Back in my youth I wanted people to read my words and be informed and entertained.  Back in my youth the literary world beckoned me.  As I matured writing seemed more a dream.  As I matured I needed people to understand technical aspects of complicated systems.  As I matured the literary world narrowed and started to close itself off to me.  I wanted people to see inside my imagination and experience a world not normally seen or felt.  I wanted people to get lost in my words and let time and reality drift away from them.  I wanted norm of everyday living to become a part time necessity.  In other words I wanted everybody to experience how I lived.

Like most people I had a dream to become something.  Some people want to become a policeman, fireman, doctor, lawyer or teacher.  A lot of those people go on to become what it is they dream of becoming.  I wanted to become a writer.  Somebody who shared his imagination or detailed the facts for those who needed to be informed.  I wrote poetry and short stories to practice my future trade.  I wrote articles about current events in a journal with the intent of sharpening my skills.  I took every experience that life presented me with so that I could capitalize on the emotion and dramatize the feelings.  I opened myself up to all of life's experiences and drama.  I engaged in all that I could.  My intent was to put the experiences, emotions and drama into writing for everybody who wanted to, to read it and experience those things through my writings.  My first musing for select friends and my wife was titled "Bedroom Spelunking".  Although I wrote this on my Commodore 64 and printed it out for a very select few people it was well received and quite popular.  I was happy that people were entertained, amused and informed by the word I wrote.

I was transferred to a project management position.  My writing was now going to be to technical and business people.  I wrote my first letter to an engineer.  After my boss reviewed the three page letter he whittled it down to 3/4 of a page by eliminating the "frivolous prose".  Thus started my future as a writer to include only those words that are necessary to the point I am trying to make.  As the years went by I resolved myself to stick to the point and eliminate any unnecessary prose.  My mind was transformed from the power of prose to the power of words.  It ails me that I no longer put details of my emotions into my writings.  I no longer deal in imagination but, deal only with the facts.

My thought is this:  I want to get back to the fun and frivolousness of writing.  I want people to feel the emotion and imagination of what I feel.  This blog will hopefully get me back to that.